7 Ways To Get Your Wife In The Mood: Is Your Man Still Clueless, Ladies?
Updated: Jan 18
Oh. I have caught your attention, haven't I? Well, either you are a confused husband who's been tagged by their wife or an utterly flabbergasted wife who's wondering where in hell did I get the audacity to claim such knowledge. I know the title sets really high expectations and I will try not to disappoint. I am confident, however, that if you, dear husbands, follow my seven holy grail tips below, you will definitely get that elusive "Yes" from your significant other.
Though I have yet to master the art of Kamasutra or embody the countless advice from those anonymous Cosmo girls who seems to have got it all under control, I believe that my almost 5 years of experience being someone else's wife would qualify me enough. Still no? Well, let me just give it a shot.
1. WORK FROM THE TOP
In case you didn't know, the brain is our largest sex organ. With that being said, you got to slowly work it from top to bottom. Before women can get excited down there, they have to be happy up there first. Seems vague? Well, let me clue you in. Most of the time, we don't really respond to dirty jokes or blatant come-ons. What your wife needs is a reminder. Your wife's a 10 in your eyes. You think she's gorgeous and she amazes you every single day. You know that, I know that and everyone else around you knows that. But guess who's not aware that she's pretty? Your wife. Sometimes women can get caught up in all these crazy social standards that they start to feel uncertain. Insecurity has it's way of creeping up on people. So tell her. Remind her how beautiful she is and how hot she looks in those house clothes and messy hair bun. Seems too easy but honest, simple compliments would actually help chase those nasty self-doubt away. It would make her feel adored, wanted even, and believe me, there's nothing sexier than a woman brimming with confidence.
2. GIVE HER TIME
Yep. Seriously. Give her time. She assumes a lot of roles daily including but not limited to being a mother, an employee, a boss, a teacher, a daughter..which sometimes makes her forget that she is also a wife. Your wife must have been shrugging off your advances since she's too tired or not ready. Women want sexy time to be that. Sexy. We don't really need to light up tons of candles and make the room look like a witch's den but we do want to set the mood a little. This won't be possible though if we we're running exhausting errands all day. How can you turn this around? Break her away from these mundane chores. If you could take a task or two off her hand then do it. This will give her an extra moment to freshen up and get ready to slip on something alluring for an adventurous evening. Or even better, whisk her away on a quiet evening. No kids, no work, no chores. Just you two, Netflix and chillin'.
3. FLEX THOSE MUSCLES
Let me tell you, this works 99% of the time. All you have to do is to flex those muscles of yours and we're sold. And I don't mean for you to lather your torso and arms in dark oil then start prancing around the room in your underwear. I meant, put those muscles into good use. Fix a broken machine. Build a furniture, or just simply take out the trash or do the laundry. I am not kidding. Try doing any of these and your girl's gonna be jumping you when she sees those sweat rolling down your forehead.
For women, foreplay doesn't truly start during making out. Like I've said, pleasing her brain is always the priority. Here's a tip, try to go to bed at the same time and finally turn your phones off. Hearing "the enemies have been slain" or "double kill" does not really contribute to a sexy-time environment. Just snuggle, reconnect and talk. Do you know that a 30-second hug increases the release of her Oxytocin levels or the so-called "cuddle" or "love" hormone? No? Well now you do. This totally works in your favor since this would remove her inhibitions. So snuggle away!
5. LOVE HER HARD
Contrary to popular belief, women are uncomplicated creatures. We're not that difficult to decipher. All you have to do is know the right buttons to push, how to press them and when to do it. Just make us feel loved and we'll love you right back. Random flowers here and there and not the obligatory ones during special occasions. A tiny, inexpensive gift or even just a "Good morning." note on the bathroom mirror or a simple sweet text that lets us know you think about us during your day. Flirt with us and make us laugh. Not that hard. Even the dullest tool on the shed can surely make our engines work.
6. THAT MANLY MUSK DOES TURNS US ON
She said "No" again for the third time this week? Well, have you tried to shower? I know I told you to sweat it out with work to impress her but try not to smell too overpowering. You want sexy time? You'll also have to look the part. If she shaves her legs or puts on her nice pair of lace, then clean-up too, big boy. Here's the thing, you have to make us want the lovin' and to do that you'd have to smell and look delicious, no pun intended.
7. SHARPEN YOUR SWORD
Yes, please do. Sharpen your sword and be your wife's knight in shining armor. I'm pretty sure your girl's one hell of an independent woman and she's rarely a damsel in distress but that does not mean that she doesn't need rescuing too, at times. If she's under a lot of stress lately, that would be a great factor as to why she's not giving you that much coveted inviting look in her eyes. Take those tension away. If you can try to ease her mind up then do so. Also, I cannot point this out enough: PRAISE HER. Praise your wife when she's there. Let her know you appreciate those home-cooked meals, those freshly changed sheets and your clean socks. And most people forget about this but you also have to praise your wife when she is not there. Meaning never talk flack about her behind her back. Instead, let others know how she's an absolute rockstar. If you do so, then maybe Good Karma will shower you with amorous blessings for being a good husband.
If my seven tips don't get you anywhere tonight, well, I no longer know what will. In the words of that wise blue bird from Rio 2, "Happy Wife, Happy Life." Make your wife swim in euphoria and you'll definitely get some. Mystery solved.